Do you ever get that feeling???....

Part of my wierdness is this thing in my life I have---"systems"---systems are, oh I don't really know how to describe them, but ways to do things on a routine basis. This is so hilarious because I HATE being structured, or even more, being told what to do...and yet I try to make myself live this way...one of my "new year's goals" (that of course has totally fallen by the wayside) was to live my life in this little system I made up---the system was made of sections---and the sections were 1, nap 1, 2, nap 2, 3, and post baby-bedtime...yeah, I had certain activities I could pick during each section. So that no 2 days had to be exactly alike, but that I would have some structure going on...structure...ah yes...that can often be quite absent from the life of a stay at homer...at least this one! :)

So, my point being, my system of sections just hasn't worked---I'm not really sure why (???) but more than anything has been this feeling---this feeling of just being overwhelmed...overwhelmed and bored all at the same time...

It doesn't make sense, and I certainly can't explain it, but it makes sense in my head. I mean, I don't want to be busier, but at the same time I desperately need something I can COMPLETE---something I can use my BRAIN for (besides overanalyzing "what to expect the first year")...

Its just a strange place I'm in these days...not necessarily a bad place, just a strange place...a job situation has opened up where I can work just a LITTLE (which is amazing!) and I'm terrified of whether or not I can handle it--although I've totally been dying for it!...some other business opportunities have slightly come across my path---but do I want that? I know I'm supposed to just relax and enjoy this sweet season of little Kallen's life...its going to go by so fast---can't tell you HOW many times I've heard that...

So anyway...I still can't describe that feeling...maybe you know it if you've had it...

My sister sent me a text yesterday...it was exactly the ANSWER to this feeling that I can't describe...its the way I want to live my life...starting now...systems or no systems...busy or bored...this is the woman I want to be...this is the life I want to live...

Yesterday's history.

Tomorrow's a mystery.

TODAY'S the DAY!!!!

Have a GREAT day!!!! (in spite of your "feelings"!)